hrm, i haven't had a journal in a while. i guess im going back to ignoring my deviantart account yet again. perhaps this journal will spark my interest in this site. Anyway, today was pretty fun, i went downtown with a bunch of people and watched Avatar (which was a very good movie). though i think it was the end of the day that may have been the most memorable.

while was walking home alone at around 5:30 (it was dark), i couldn't help but feel both free to do what i want, but also caged withing certain boundaries. something about walking alone that gives you the wonderful feeling that you've only scratched the surface on the exploration of the world, and theirs still so much unseen. problem is, my parents and my age keep me from really going very far. a short leash for me. thats why my current reason to live right now is the idea of change approaching, whether it be in my surroundings or in daily life. i live in the moment, yet long for the future, and reminisce on the past. although i do feel extremely bored here. rather than changing surroundings, maybe i should change my lifestyle. find new friends while keeping some of the stronger old friendships, and begin a far different life from right now.

hah, this feeling is probably why ive been watching the melancholy of haruhi suzumiya recently. the idea that i could control my life at my own will, and subconsciously create a more interesting world is very appealing right now. of course, the best possible feeling i could get in this world is to find some sort of inner balance between myself and this current world; the problem is, my world at the moment is extremely small. i guess ill just keep waiting for change while enjoying the little things. maybe soon i'll get the energy and freedom required to really change my life.

oh by the way, to those who have seen the melancholy of haruhi suzmiya, there is a site with all the current light novels translated out that i can tell you about. that way you can get a taste of what to expect in the currently non-existant third season of the anime.

ohwell, thats all for now,
Abel